It’s Electro Velvet for the UK, unfortunately…

Well hello everyone,

Let me give you a brief recount of my evening. I watched Melodifestivalen, where 8 good-quality songs that came third and fourth in their respective semi-finals performed again for a place in the final. What a great show, I’m looking forward to Stockholm next week. That took me to 8:30pm, which meant I watched an hour of The Voice to get me to 9:30, the time when we were going to hear our song for Eurovision this year.

How disappointed I was.

The hope of the UK will be on the shoulders of Electro Velvet, and that isn’t some sort of high-tech electric blanket from the eighties. The group consists of a reject from the first round of ‘The Voice’ and a Mick Jagger tribute act. It’s like a cheap version of Capital Cities’ ‘Safe and Sound’ which is a brilliant song, but ‘Still in Love With You’ took everything good about that song, and then made it even worse. Admittedly, I thought to myself that this prelude would be over at some point, but then the penny dropped….

Flaunting such lyrics as ‘You’re bound to get sneezes or nasty diseases’ and ‘Don’t stay out at midnight, don’t get in a fist fight’ which both sound like horribly forced rhyme you’d find in a poem written by a little child or some sort of lecture by a massively overprotective boyfriend. It really does seem we’re on the way to another nul points, or last place if Ireland chooses to take pity on us. I haven’t failed to notice that the odds of Australia giving us the twelve took a nose-dive the very same night. Was it written by a misogynist or what?

Also, the way the song was presented to the viewing audience demonstrated the BBC’s lack of confidence. They seemed to have deemed it worthy of just a 20 minute looping show on the Red Button, that’s exactly what you’d do with a song that could bring the contest to the UK next year! Scott Mills looked like he wanted to deliver the bad news and get out too.

Normally, for a music video this bad, I’d hope for decent staging, but I know we won’t get it. Just to add insult to injury, we’ll probably get a decent position in the running order, and ruin the chance with the awful song we’re insulting Europe with. I would’ve preferred any of the artists that were supposedly meant to be representing us, Alexandra Burke, Grace Savage, Susan Boyle, I wouldn’t mind either of them!

A quick Google search for ‘still in love with you lyrics’ throws up many songs of the same name: Thin Lizzy, Sade and even the Jonas Brothers. This really does prove how awful and forgettable the song actually is.

Now, I’m not going to ignore those out there who are actually fans of the song, but more often than not, it seems like a song that can ‘grow’ on you. Maybe that was Freeman’s intentions when he selected it? Most people will only hear it once, and that’ll be when it counts, in the Grand Final, the time we find out if we’ve messed it up once again. There isn’t any time for the majority of voters to allow the song to grow on them!

Really, I can’t begin to attempt a justification as to why this song was selected over the many other options I’m sure the BBC had at their disposal. Perhaps we’re still in some sort of false euphoria after scoring more points than Azerbaijan in the final for the first ever time. Yes, that actually happened. I’ve always believed that many of the winning songs over the past ten years have brought innovation in some form or another to the Contest, Loreen’s genre and on-stage performance in 2012 for example. What can we offer to the Europe-wide stage? 3 minutes of suffering for over 100 million people and then we hope that they will pick up their phones and vote for it. That seems likely.

I won’t make this post too long, as I’d much prefer spending my time on reviewing the andra chansen round of Melodifestivalen, because all of the 8 songs were much better than this feeble excuse for what the UK could’ve produced. Talking about the Melodifestivalen, the UK only has to look north for inspiration on how to select a song that showcases the best of British music. Måns Zelmerlöw, the Swedish artist this year, was the winner of the six-week Melodifestivalen 2015 by a massive margin, and now you could get 3-1 on him winning the whole show altogether. While some entries were performed in Swedish, I could still understand the meaning even without being fluent in the language. With ours, it’s the exact opposite. You may say that national selections in the past have given us acts like Josh Dubovie and Scooch, but it would be ignorant not to consider that all of our winners, as well as acts more recently such as Jade Ewen have come from a national selection. It took the BBC two years to learn that digging an octogenarian out of their musical grave for a trip to the other side of Europe every May wasn’t the way to go.

We love to blame our bad results on the running order, as well as many other supposed disadvantages we’ve encountered. Even with the best position in the running order, it’s obvious that a forgettable song won’t get the points it wants!

To be honest, I’m actually tempted to write our song next year, it’ll be pretty easy as the bar has been set so low. Even after three last place finishes, the BBC are still intent on mocking the contest by entering this sort of low-budget monstrosity. Maybe we could strike a deal with Sweden and enter Dolly Style? At least I can remember their song!

Surely there are a few people who agree with me on this?

Rant over.


8 thoughts on “It’s Electro Velvet for the UK, unfortunately…”

  1. Hope that get one point . Bbc has embarrassed the UK yet with a song of no I say again no substance .

    1. I absolutely agree with you, Tony! Either Ireland, Malta or Bulgaria will have to take pity on us to coax me out from behind my cushion during the Final!

  2. im fully in agreement with this article. couldnt one of the previous winners of the voice be given the eurovision job? at least it would give the voice an actual reason to be aired and it would free up the wages of those supposedly there to organise our entry.

  3. Interesting views. Inworth say that lyrics like “How many times do we have to fight? How many times till we get it right? Between us” are hardly grammy-winning material and they didn’t do to badly. And misogynist? Really? No more so than a woman so desperate to please her fella by painting her toenails bright blue and doing it just the other duh-ay. And I believe the UK has had BRILLIANT staging recently – hats off to DR for the Chinese lanterns and fire curtain they gave Molly, thanks to SVT for giving the audience lights to wave and literally lifting Bonnie’s performance, and the dark staging, guitarist, and dancers really added class to Englebert’s show so I think that throwing shade at how it will be staged is unfounded. But from your self-styled rant, it appears you would have taken against the UK entry whatever it was, and if you think that Hasse or Andreas Wise from AC would have been better choices, then I fear for your musical taste!

  4. Till tonight, I’d only heard a small portion of the song, and wasn’t really impressed – but on hearing it in full a few times, and I’m sorry for going against all the other comments, but truly, it’s not really that bad. It’s lively, tasteful, and is a throw-back to the 1920s when ragtime music was just emerging in Europe from across the Atlantic. Okay, the words are somewhat banal – but that was also said about ‘Puppet On A String’, and I really do think this is different enough to try, instead of all the wailing and screeching that is now infiltrating so many entries. Lots of older followers of the ESC (like me, at 65), might remember the light heartiness and somewhat naïve nature of the Contest. For me, it has now become very brash and this song is quite a breath of fresh air. No doubt, thousands/millions will disagree with me, but I would like to see this do well, especially as this song fits into a time that music was bringing fun back to the world after WWI. It was also the time of the ‘Flappers’, who were emancipating women and proving themselves as equals. I can imagine this being played on a an old 78rpm record and player with the big horn until the stylus wore out the record. It’s still a pity that the British public don’t get a choice in the matter, but I’ve heard a lot, lot worse. I don’t say this lightly, but well done the BBC for daring to bring this retro style back to a wider audience. Ten points from me.

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