Eurovision 2014 – Rory’s Review!

Well..hello there! We’re going to do something a little different here today; here’s what. Both James and I watched all three Eurovision shows (duh!), but we may have different opinions on the results and the shows themselves, so we’re both going to publish our own review detailing what we thought of the Eurovision Song Contest 2014 and our thoughts on next year’s Contest in Austria! So let’s get started!

Congratulations to Conchita! 😀

So, here are a few highlights and lowlights of what I thought of the first semi-final – in BULLET POINT FORM, no less!

• Tanja really did have a great performance of ‘Amazing’ on Tuesday..but when she was supposed to say ‘Amazing’, she said ‘Amwayzin’..can I just get some validation – what is ‘amwayzin’?
• Now, James has told me that it wasn’t real, but I’m not completely won over..was Hersi’s tattoo real? Because that takes a lot of dedication to have part of the national flag tattooed onto your body…and while I’m on Albania, how could she come second-last?! That is an injustice!!!
• As expected, Dilara didn’t work on her English accent and ended up adding another word to the English language – ‘Tearnruh’. I believe the definition for ‘tearnruh’ is to think a lot and end up misspeaking a word…if I’m wrong, feel free to correct me!
• Cristina Scarlat…where to begin? First off, the Terminator dress made a return to the stage so that was nice..then, those dancers..just; wow. I wouldn’t mind any of them to be honest! Finally, if you’re going to have fake hair onstage that you plan to rip off, make sure you don’t let the camera catch you ripping it off..comes across as a little..cheesy, you know?
• Suzy in general was one of the weirdest contestants of the semi-final (no offence to her, but why justify this?). For starters, that dress she wore..it basically looks like she only had a few read leaves covering her tits and her…*lower* area. What’s even more eclectic is that in the postcard, she decided to paint herself…hair and everything. Just…very weird!
• I didn’t really get the whole “Ugly Duckling” interval act thing..it was just people dancing around watching this guy/girl (I actually don’t know which gender that dancer is) dance around and eventually turn into a “swan”. Very weird indeed.
• I was so happy to see San Marino and Montenegro qualifying for the final for the first time! I guess we all expected Montenegro to do well, but San Marino was really a shock qualifier..in contrast to Estonia, who should have qualified, but didn’t! Very sad for Tanja..

And after all that, here’s the highs and lows from the second semi-final!

• Mei…oh how I missed her in the final. She actually did perform amazingly well in the semi-final, and yet she came in the penultimate position..how? I voted for her! And her postcard was one of the cleverest of the entire lot! I was so disappointed to see them fail to qualify. 😦
• The Shin and Mariko – yeah, I really liked this, regardless of what people though of it. Mariko gave the song her best vocals and the parachute gimmick may have been a bit cheesy, but at least it stuck to the topic! Not too sure why the guy going “he-wala-telo” etc was doing that with his most nasal voice ever, but that may have been what brought it down..
• What can I say about Vilija? It was so obvious that she had hair extensions and such – it may have maid her hair look long, but it didn’t actually look good. And what dafuq was going on with the holes in her tutu? I want to know who decided on the costumes..seriously, don’t be so weird!
• One of Kasey Smith’s friends (or a member of Can-linn, we have no clue!) was assaulted by a balloon in Ireland’s postcard, which can be watched here [have a look around 44:13 – 44:19]. I don’t know why Ireland had to celticise the whole performance – the song is a pop song and it was presented as a pop song in the NF, so why make it a Celtic song now? The only plus I found on this was the background. It looked nice, but that was it.
• Tijana’s postcard consisted of her using cymatics to make the flag of FYR Macedonia..she must have been tweaking those bits of sand to work it out into that sun..in terms of the performance, she actually sang really well..but the dancer behind her sort of looks a bit like Lord Voldemort avec nose..sorry Tijana – it had to be said! By the way, when Tijana got her little statuette from Lise, she just went into complete shock..I loved it!
• The interval acts for this semi-final were a lot better than they were in the first semi-final. I did enjoy the little skit the Australians did when they managed to carry an entire country and drop it in Europe..apparently, Ireland and the UK are now in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean! Jessica Mauboy sang amazingly well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if a country asked her to represent them in the future! The dance act was rather entertaining too, but not as much as Mauboy…sorry!

And finally, for the final:

• The little Parade of Nations they did at the beginning was good, as I think it showed the world which one of those contestants would eventually win the competition..you can tell which one got the most applause! In the opening bit as well, Emmelie de Forest still hasn’t managed to get a bit of personality…how nice!
• Conchita gave a great performance of ‘Rise Like A Phoenix’, but the staging was a little bit of a distraction to the song..I felt like I was watching a mixture of ‘Il Pleut De l’Or’ (Switzerland 2010) and the eagle wings of ‘Feel the Passion’ (Albania 2011). But it’s obvious that Conchita’s vocals were utterly fabulous! Go on girl!
• The few front rows next to the stage must have had a good look up Emma’s dress at the end of ‘La Mia Città’..she really does enjoy that particular pose, where she has her knees bent and she’s lying down at the same time…those straight Eurovision fans must have loved it!
• Poland had an amazing stage performance, with the one who was churning butter and the one washing the clothes, having a ball! There’s nothing much to say about Cleo and Donatan here, but I have to mention that when my 5-year-old nephew saw ‘My Słowianie’, the first thing he asked was “What is that woman doing with the sink plunger?” ….Gotta love children, eh!
• András Kállay-Saunders didn’t break the chair he sat on as much as he tried to in the first semi-final..and may I also add he was wearing MORE clothes than he was on Tuesday..wrong way, man!
• Molly had a great performance…but what was going on with her voice? It seemed like she had had a cold or something..I had read she was losing her voice the day before, but I don’t know if it’s true…she did look fab though!
• The sexual tension between Pilou and Nikolaj was so obvious…but sooo cringe-worthy! The Eurovision isn’t just for gay people, so stop trying to stigmatise it that it’s only for gay people! Eesh. Now Jon Ola and Lise..that was very tangible..like, I can actually see them as a couple, despite the whole age gap sitch!
• We met Jakob – the flutist from ‘Only Teardrops’ – again…shirtless. Much happy there! Then, ‘Rainmaker’ was performed…apparently, the 26 finalists were supposed to sing the ‘waya, wayawaya waya’ bits…but I doubt they actually did. Hooray for faking stuff!
• Getting to the voting, there were only two things from here that I found notable..the first was Lithuania’s spokesperson Ignas. Now I don’t know whether he meant it as a joke or not, but why would you say ‘Time to shave’ on international television…sorta makes him look like a plonker to be honest.
• The other major bit of the voting I noted was the complete opposite of the Lithuanian spokesperson. Thanks to Kati Bellowitsch for wearing that fake beard while presenting the Austrian votes..we get it was a little joke, but at least it wasn’t as offensive as Ignas’.

Then…well, we all know what happened then. So next year we’re heading to Austria! This is the first time since 1967 that Austria will be hosting the competition and although it’s going to be in Central Europe, I can expect an absolute glamourous show from Vienna or Salzburg, seeming as they’re the main candidates for hosting Europe’s favourite TV show. In terms of participating countries, I’m afraid that Israel will be withdrawing – after sending a huge star like Mei Finegold to the Contest and to come in 14th place in the semi-final…it feels like they may run out of hope. Plus, the government may be shutting the IBA down, so that could throw participation into the air…I’d love it if Cyprus came back..along with Serbia, as they normally send great songs..and with 4 countries already confirming participation, despite only being 19 hours after Austria had won, it may be a quick season for participating countries to be announced. I cannot wait to get started! 😀 I’ll leave you with Conchita’s winning performance from last night!

So, that’s my review for this year’s Eurovision Song Contest! It’s been an absolute honour covering the season with you, telling you about the NFs and artists and everything and for me, you guys are what inspires us to do this blog, so I’d like to thank you! So what did you think of the shows this week? Which performance was your favourite? And will you travel to Austria for next year’s show? Feel free to leave us a comment below and get ready, as James will be giving us his review of the show! 🙂